Embracing the Chaos: My ADHD Journey and Finding Peace in Nature

"In the midst of chaos, I found peace in the quiet beauty of nature."
— Welcome to Lamoille Canyon, my sanctuary and a reminder that even in the toughest moments, there’s always a place to breathe.

A Surprising Discovery

A little over a year ago, I found myself in a tough spot—I got fired from my job, a nice one, I might add. It was a wake-up call I desperately needed at the time, even if I didn't realize it. I could see my mental health spiraling toward the end of that job. I went to probably four or more appointments in just a couple of months.

Looking back now, it's clear to me that many signs of ADHD were there, my biggest being the struggle to retain information. Let me tell you, when you can’t get something and it feels new every single damn day, it can be frustrating. Not gonna lie, toward the end of the job, I felt like an absolute idiot (and that's being nice), surrounded by these smart women. That’s where it got to. Now I realize that if it’s not something my brain finds somewhat interesting, I have a hard time retaining information.

ADHD had never crossed my mind, so how were my coworkers supposed to know? None of them, that I’m aware of, suffered from ADHD, so none of them could see it or even know.

Then, about a month into my new job, which is a bit over a year ago now, I stumbled upon a revelation that changed everything—I likely have ADHD. While I’m not officially diagnosed, someone close to me is, and as I began to dive deeper into the world of ADHD to support them, I couldn’t help but notice how much of what I read resonated with my own experiences. It was like a series of light bulbs flickering on one after another!

One memory that popped into my mind while writing this post was those little planners we millennials cherished in middle and high school. I absolutely loved those things! They kept me organized and on top of my game in all my classes. Now that I understand more about myself, it makes perfect sense why I relied on them so heavily back then. Somehow, amidst the whirlwind of adult life, I forgot just how beneficial those tools were. In all honesty, I didn’t realize their impact on me because I didn’t know what I was missing. It’s no wonder I’ve gravitated back toward planners and lists now that I’m learning how my brain works.

This planner image is from this Reddit post, which who knows where it originated.

Since that light bulb moment, I’ve been managing my life as if I have ADHD—without medication for now. And let me tell you, the changes have been remarkable. In just a year, I’ve lost 40 pounds—unintentionally, I might add! It’s mostly been about self-care and cutting down on eating out, but we weren’t really indulging in fast food too often anyway. Along the way, I’ve become more aware of my challenges and learned that not everyone needs to tiptoe around me. Instead, I’m focusing on how to respond like an adult (even when others aren’t). It’s definitely not been a cakewalk—more like a rollercoaster ride—but I’m learning to embrace this new journey, even on the tough days when everything feels a bit off.

As I move forward, I hope to seek a formal diagnosis and explore more strategies to help manage my daily life. If you're reading this and finding yourself in a similar situation, know that it’s okay to seek help and that self-discovery is a journey worth taking. You’re not alone in this—let’s embrace the ride together!

Facing new challenges

Recently, I had to schedule some breast cancer screening appointments, and let me tell you—that shit is scary. No matter how much I’ve worked on staying positive over the past five years, those pesky negative thoughts crept in.

If you have ADHD, you know how easy it is to overthink everything. For two solid days (at the time of writing this), my anxiety has been on overdrive because of these upcoming tests, now scheduled for late October. I’ve found myself replaying scenarios in my head, fixating on the "what-ifs." And trust me, those thoughts can go from 0 to 60 real damn quick. Yet, I keep reminding myself to focus on the present and stay as positive as possible. Will that stop the bad days from coming? Nope. But learning how to push through them? That’s the real victory.

To help manage my anxiety, I’ve been practicing deep breathing exercises and jotting down my thoughts in a journal. It’s a comforting outlet that reminds me I’m not alone in this. I’m incredibly grateful for the support I have, who have been there to listen and reassure me.

If you’re also facing health scares or anxiety, know that it’s completely okay to feel scared. It’s a natural response to uncertainty. Taking that first step to acknowledge those thoughts is crucial! And don’t forget to schedule those appointments—trust me, I know talking on the phone can be daunting, but sometimes just making that call is a win in itself.

Let’s embrace this journey together, supporting each other as we navigate our fears. Remember, we are stronger than we think!

Why i started this blog

I created Shifting Thru Chaos because I want you to know—you are not alone. Our mental health journeys may look different, and I truly believe that no two stories are the same. However, by sharing our experiences, we can connect and find comfort in one another.

Throughout this blog, you’ll notice many nature themes, and that’s intentional. Nature has become my refuge over the past couple of years. I’m fortunate to live near what I affectionately call a hidden gem in the desert: Lamoille Canyon. It truly is my little slice of paradise, especially when life gets overwhelming!

There have been many days when I’ve felt lost and anxious, my thoughts spiraling out of control, like trying to grasp at wisps of smoke. In desperate need of a reset, I tend to venture out to the canyon. When I’m there, I settle in and listen. The sounds of bugs buzzing, birds chirping, water flowing, and trees rustling create a symphony that calms my mind. In those moments, I feel the tension melting away, allowing my thoughts to clear and sometimes even just to “stop.”

If you’ve ever felt lost or overwhelmed, know that those feelings are completely valid. It’s okay to seek comfort when the world feels chaotic. Through this blog, I hope to inspire you to find your own refuge, whether it’s in nature, a beloved hobby, or a community of supportive friends. Together, let’s navigate this journey, embracing the chaos and celebrating the moments of peace along the way.

Remember, it’s in those quiet moments of reflection where we often find the strength to carry on.

In conclusion

This blog is all about navigating the ups and downs of mental health, ADHD, and life’s curveballs—finding that precious calm within the chaos. I hope you’ll find personal stories, helpful tips, and resources that resonate with you on your journey. Most importantly, I want you to feel empowered to embrace who you are, even on those tough days when it feels like everything is going sideways. Life can be messy, and that’s perfectly okay! We’re all in this together, and I truly believe we can find our way through, one small step at a time.

Thank you for being here with me on this journey. Remember—you’ve got this, and I’m cheering you on every step of the way!