Why So Tired? Invisible Weight of Mental Load

Main affirmation

"I honor my need for rest, knowing that mental work is just as draining as physical work."

What is mental load

Mental load is defined as the invisible, constant mental effort it takes to keep track of everything in your life—appointments, tasks, worries, and all the little things you don’t write down but have to remember. It’s the running to-do list in your brain, and it can be exhausting.

Before I figured out what was really going on in my brain (hello, ADHD!), I honestly thought I was just… stupid. Like, is the whole “blonde thing” actually true? It seemed like everyone else had it together, while I struggled to remember basic things. Turns out, it wasn’t that I was lazy or forgetful—my brain just needed different tools.

If I don’t write things down, set alarms, or make physical reminders, you can bet that task will vanish until it randomly pops back into my head (usually at 2 a.m.). Now that I understand myself better, I rely on to-do lists, phone alerts, and sticky notes to keep track. I’m not perfect at it, but I know that if I don’t do these things, life gets messy fast.

One silly example? Clocking in at work. I don’t have a set schedule, so if I don’t have my alarms set, there’s a good chance I’ll forget to clock in. My boss had to fix my timesheet way too many times before I figured out I needed this reminder.  It’s frustrating that I need these extra steps just to "adult," but it is what it is. I can’t change my brain, so I’ve learned to work with it instead.

why mental load leads to fatigue

Trying to remember everything all the time is like having a chaotic scribble of letters and images in your head. It wasn’t until I started digging into mental health more deeply that I realized how draining this can be. After a day of work, I’m done. Like, “don’t talk to me, don’t ask me to go anywhere” done.  I used to chalk it up to just adulting, but with mental health issues like ADHD in the mix, the mental load feels even heavier.

how to lighten your mental load

Feeling overwhelmed by your thoughts and responsibilities? 😩 You're not alone. Mental load, the invisible weight of all the “to-dos” and worries we carry around, can be exhausting. Here are some practical strategies to help lighten that load and give your mind a break:

1. Do a Brain Dump 

Sometimes, your brain feels cluttered because it’s holding onto too much information. Grab a pen and paper (or your phone notes) and do a “brain dump.” Write down everything that’s on your mind—tasks, worries, reminders—without worrying about order or structure. This helps clear mental space, allowing you to see everything in one place and prioritize what needs attention first.

2. Set Boundaries 

It’s easy to say yes to everything, but that can quickly add to your mental strain. Start setting boundaries by saying no to extra tasks that aren’t essential. It’s okay to protect your time and energy. Communicate clearly with others when you’re feeling overwhelmed, and don’t be afraid to ask for help or support when you need it.

3. Delegate Where You Can 

You don’t have to carry the entire load by yourself. Look at your to-do list and see if there are tasks that can be delegated to someone else. It could be asking your partner to take on some household chores, splitting responsibilities at work, or even using digital tools like apps to automate certain tasks.

4. Incorporate Mindfulness 

Mindfulness techniques can be a powerful tool for reducing mental strain. Try simple practices like deep breathing exercises, a short meditation session, or even a mindful walk outside. By focusing on the present moment, you can calm your mind and reduce feelings of overwhelm.

Quick Tip: Try the 4-7-8 breathing exercise. Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, and exhale for 8 seconds. This technique helps lower stress and brings a sense of calm.

5. Schedule Breaks 

Don’t underestimate the power of a break. When your mental load feels heavy, it’s a sign that your brain needs a pause. Schedule short breaks throughout your day, even if it’s just 5-10 minutes to stretch, grab a cup of tea, or simply step outside for fresh air. Giving your mind a rest allows you to return to tasks with renewed focus and energy.

These strategies are all about creating space in your mind, taking care of yourself, and remembering that you don’t have to do it all. 💪 What’s one strategy you’ll try today to help lighten your mental load? Let me know in the comments or head over to Instagram @shiftingthruchaos to share your tips!

conclusion